“This feels like a life simulation” said Isha at the closing ceremony. Just as we arrived, we were gathered in the shed for our last dinner in Dreketi Settlement, the villagers sending us off with the same song that they welcomed us with. It’s interesting the ways that life meets itself at the end, like a remembrance of the beginning, just to see how far we’ve grown. I came into this village, feeling surreal, amazed, afraid, unsure of how we’ll adjust and live together; and as we were about to leave, I was rooted in reality, and confident, in myself, my emotions, my future and how I choose to lead it. But more than that, I was grateful for every single experience that I had, memories that will forever live on in my conversations with people, and lessons learnt that will always be a part of who I am. I was proud of all of us that chose to embark on this journey together, and had grown in all our separate ways. 

Of course, I didn’t realise all of these thoughts while at the dinner, so all of these overwhelming feelings manifested as an intense sob session throughout and after eating. 

But as Isha said, in many ways, this was a life simulation. It was as if we were about to pass on, all of us unwilling but being forced to leave the present behind and embark on our own spiritual journeys. So the important question is: What are we holding onto? 

“Have I done enough? Was I enough?” Did I do enough with the time that I was here? Did I love enough? I had no metric to answer my own question, but I wondered if this was going to be the same question I asked if I were to die tomorrow, 10 years, or 30 years from now. 

Did I do enough on this earth as a person, to love on the people around me? Did they know I loved them? Nothing we do on this Earth will last for till the end of time. Every single imprint would be like sand drawings by the beach, imminently washed away. So as temporary existences, there’s not much point to the things we do if it isn’t to better each other’s temporary lives. What is the point of doing things, with volunteering, donations, advocacy, legal work, medical services, policymaking, welfare support, all of these people-oriented careers and services, if love and care for people isn’t at the core of it?

With all that I’ve learnt from Fiji, I look toward a future where I would courageously pursue Counselling and perhaps a Medical degree. I don’t know where life would take me, but as long as I am beginning with the end in mind, knowing the impact I want myself to have made the day that I die, I know it will be something meaningful. And I know that anything I do from this point onwards will be inspired by every single person I had met in this Fijian expedition, every villager and every scholar that has made this the most special learning experience of a lifetime. Thank you, to every single one of you special souls out there. My world is brighter now with you in it.