Spiders. Heights. Darkness. Closed spaces. Being disconnected. Trusting strangers. Not being in control of everything at all times. These are just a few things that scare me, and I usually do everything in my power to avoid these. I never open my windows, no matter how hot it gets so that no bugs can come in. You would never see me jumping out a plane. Or alone in the dark. Or without my phone. It’s been over 9 months since I’ve left my home country but I’ve never gone a day without talking to my family. Well, until last week when the second Laidlaw residential happened and it felt like everything I was so terrified of, was thrown into my life all at once. To rewind back a little, this was the second time I was meeting the other scholars in my cohort. At this point, I knew who everyone was but I was still very much in my comfort zone where I had my extroverted shell on and acted like I had it together. Little did I know that these were the very people in front of whom I was going to be my most vulnerable self. That’s during the second residential in Selside, Yorkshire Dales - a place with magnificent views but very little service. Now I’m a city girl, as pretty as the views were, I immediately knew that it wasn’t the place for me. But it’s just 3 days, right? What could possibly happen in such little time? Oh how wrong I was. Two weeks ago, these people that I’m now surrounded with were strangers but in the following days we hiked mountains in the rain, went into caves that were so dark and closed up that we had to literally slither our way out, climbed up a mountain with our bare hands but most importantly, we did it together. I can say that because I was always the slowest, the last person during the hike, the one that took the most breaks and probably the one that found it so challenging because of how scared I was. My competitive self hated that SO much and frankly, my ego was bruised a little. All the thoughts running in my chaotic head were - what if I slip and fall? It’s already embarrassing being so slow, the last thing I want to do is embarrass myself by falling on my face, literally. But I did it anyway because the only thing I hate more than facing my fears is giving up because of my fears. I’m so glad that I did because nothing could describe the feeling when I reached the peak of Penygham. By happenstance of a directional change, I ended up being the first at the top and I had this moment of reflection and deep gratitude over what my body was capable of. Though, I almost gave up halfway because I was shivering while climbing up and had to force myself to not look down, I eventually made it, despite it all. As loud as the chaos in my head was, what I was most pleasantly surprised by was the empathy and genuine kindness of those around me. To the ones that walked back towards me just so I wouldn’t be alone, to the ones that held me when I was shivering and assured me that they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me, to the ones that refused to leave me behind and slowed down for me, you know who you are. You’ve reinvented the meaning of kindness for me and you’ve made me realise that where true team-spirit exists, there is no room for competition. I walked in Selside a little scared and unsure of myself but I left it having faced my fears, with incredible people that I would go on to consider my closest friends who taught me the true meaning of compassion. I can’t say that I’m not scared of anything anymore, but I can say that my faith in myself is stronger than those fears. And I couldn’t have done it by myself.