Summer 1 Blog Post

A short reflective blog post about my experiences and important lessons learned completing my Summer 1 research project!
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I was overjoyed when I first received news that I had received a place in the Laidlaw cohort for 2023! I had worked tirelessly curating an application and a plan for my research project surrounding something I was passionate about. This initially felt like a breath of fresh air in the swamp of college work I was dealing with coming up to exams. I finally had the chance to work hard on a project that was entirely my own creation, focused on specific issues that I found to be fascinating and worth investigating. Very suddenly, and honestly much too quickly, came the time to actually start researching and following the meticulous plan that I had spent countless hours creating. The Laidlaw program then became a very real experience and challenge. 

Going into my research portion of summer one, I had planned out all the various steps of my project. At the time, I had been told over and over by the LaidLaw team (Joel and Orla) and the many speakers that were at our LEAD workshops that challenges would occur and that this is a learning experience! This research project will not be perfect! Naively, I didn't fully comprehend this. I was of the thought that, yes of course there will be challenges, but for me? No, never, I have planned everything too well. I was wrong! And I am so glad that I was wrong. This summer provided me with an amazing opportunity to be thrown into the deep end of research, slightly drown, and then come out the other end with a much greater appreciation for the researchers out there, and a much greater understanding of who I am as a leader and a (very novice) researcher. 

One of the things I admire most about the LaidLaw programme, is the international presence! I live in Dublin throughout the year, but in the summer months I go to my parents house in Switzerland (so I do not have to pay the extreme Dublin rent prices any longer than necessary). This aspect of my research project was something I did not take into account in my planning, and something I didn't think would have any effect at all. That being said, being away from Dublin, away from the LaidLaw team, away from my ALS group, and away from my supervisors was very isolating. It made my research feel lonely and I lost the joy in it. I found myself forgetting about all the resources that I had access to, which made the research that much more difficult. If I had the opportunity to do this research again - I would have made a much greater effort towards reaching out for help to my supervisors, and to Joel and Orla. This challenge is something that I only really realised was hindering me, until I took a step back and reflected on my experience, and I wish I had taken note of it earlier so that I could remedy this issue. This drawback also helped me understand my leadership style much better. I've come to realise that I have a tendency to try and do everything on my own, despite having a plethora of resources and people around me that are there to help. In the future of the LaidLaw programme I want to make sure that I take the time and effort to ask for help when I need it! 

I had initially planned in my research project to go and do onsite research in Boracay, Philippines as a key part in my work. This however, did not go to plan. I struggled with the administrative aspect of the LaidLaw programme. The way the grants were received, I had very little time to book flights and accommodation which made the costs much more than I had previously researched and it would mean that I would have to use all of the travel extra funding provided by the programme. I made the decision then to not do this portion of the research, as I believed it would be unwise to use all of this extra funding in the first summer. I then had to rework my initial plan to make sure I could, to the best of my ability, make my project as similar to my original plan while completing it remotely. I then faced internal questioning as to whether this work would even be valid as a project, and whether it would provide the important and groundbreaking conclusions that I had dreamed of providing. After this change, I had to rework my ethics approval, and my summer one planning, essentially having to start from scratch. I think a very important part of this was accepting that this project was going to be a valuable experience, even though it didn't go perfectly to plan. I had to force myself to take a step back and realise that I am not a professional in the field, I am just an (almost) third year undergraduate student and this is the first time I am ever undertaking a project like this. This is not an excuse to produce subpar work, but rather an appreciation that it is okay to make mistakes and all I can do is research for this project to the best of my ability. When reflecting on this major challenge I faced, I realised that it was almost more rewarding to face these drawbacks and to then take the steps to adjust my plan and be flexible in my leadership and research strategies. Not everything has to be perfect all the time, and likewise it was important for me to realise that there are aspects of this project that I will not have constant control over! In this situation it was almost better for me to let go of control and my original plan, in order to rework and reimagine my research into a project that was achievable and rewarding given the cards I was dealt. 

Overall, I am so grateful and satisfied with my LaidLaw summer one experience. A huge thank you to my supervisors - Dr. Iris Moeller, and Dr. Susan Murphy and the LaidLaw team - Orla and Joel, for providing me with guidance and the opportunity to complete this project at all. While this summer had its ups and downs, it has left me with the desire to do a research project like this again and to put in practice the lessons I have learned along the way. 

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