In a recent meeting with my university’s program administrator, Kelci, we talked about which part of my experience on the Laidlaw Scholarship program had shaped my confidence and leadership skills the most. After reflecting for a minute or two I realized that neither summer 1 or 2 had shaped my confidence more or less than the other, rather that each opportunity within the scholarship helped me to create a progressively higher steppingstone for me to launch from into the next opportunity. This is the best way I can think to describe my Laidlaw journey, but I have created a rough diagram to visually demonstrate what I picture in my head and attached it below.

Image 1: The stepping stones on my confidence journey

To reflect upon my journey across these steppingstones I thought it would be a good idea to look back to my previous blogs as they act as a time capsule of how I was feeling at the time.

Before Summer 1

I posted my first blog on the scholars’ network in May 2022 and described myself as an “explorer apprehensively waiting to start their ascent up the mountain, pondering what challenges lie ahead before admiring the view from the summit”. I am not sure why I chose this metaphor at the time, perhaps because I am a very visual person, but amazingly I think that it still perfectly summarises my time on the Laidlaw Scholarship programme.

Two years prior to applying for the Laidlaw Program, we were in the thick of the Covid-19 pandemic. During this time of social isolation, I felt as though I lost my spark and became anxious in social situations. Fast forward to 2022, I was ready to be stretched outside of my comfort zone and took the leap in applying for Laidlaw. And I did it…I got on the program! At this point, I definitely felt like I was standing at the bottom of a mountain with a mammoth journey of learning, leadership and self-discovery ahead.

Now, you may be wondering why I talked about my experiences before starting the program but I think that it’s important to reflect on where we started so we can truly appreciate how far we have come!

Lessons from summer 1

My research project investigated whether the melanic morph of Hetaerina titia damselflies is objectively more conspicuous than the common morph and whether there was a link between the morph of the damselfly and their risk aversion. This involved travelling to the Pacific and Atlantic coasts of Costa Rica and creating an ecological experiment protocol by applying theoretical knowledge to the challenging real-world scenario of a tropical rainforest. 

Image 2: Holding a Rubyspot damselfly whilst carrying out fieldwork

In my blog post from October 2022, I reflected on my “massive imposter syndrome” before embarking on my journey to Costa Rica – “Why would an accomplished academic want to work alongside me, a first-year undergraduate?”. The photo below shows the team I collaborated with while I was in Costa Rica. It was truly an honour to work alongside such a talented, supportive team of ecologists from across the globe. But when surrounded by so much knowledge, wisdom, and experience…I did not feel like a confident leader. Despite my nerves and feelings of imposter syndrome, it was time to grasp the opportunity with both hands and get stuck in. This is where I learnt my first lesson. 

Large-scale projects almost always feel like a daunting or impossible task before you get started, especially if you don’t have lots of expertise in that specific field. From experience, I have learnt that fully throwing yourself into a project makes it much easier to learn from the wisdom of mentors and form supportive, collaborative teams. Be unashamedly ready to make mistakes. Ask as many questions as you need to. Simply making the first step in starting a project can make the whole process less daunting. Furthermore, even though I had much less experience than my peers, I could readily provide alternative, fresh perspectives to the project – an indirect way of showing leadership. I know I will apply this mentality in my future endeavours, beyond Laidlaw.

Image 3: The team I worked with whilst in Costa Rica (L to R: Jonathan, Myself, Pablo, Raquel, Jinna, Greg)

A combination of immersing myself in an unfamiliar culture, spending most of my summer meticulously analyzing data and then publishing my final report after countless drafts, helped me prove to myself that I had immense personal resilience and determination within me. This left me feeling more confident going into summer 2. 

Lessons from Summer 2 

Forming genuine connections with the people around us is an invaluable way of creating relationships that facilitate comfortable conversations about our mental health. The aim of my LIA was to foster this philosophy by hosting an event that brings people together through shared interests; provides an opportunity for attendees openly talk about their mental health; and fundraises money for the fantastic team at If U Care Share, a Northeast suicide prevention charity.

Image 4: All of the people that got involved with the charity rounders match as part of the fundraiser!

In my most recent blog on the scholars’ network I summarised the learning journey I experienced throughout my LIA into a short sentence – “I now truly appreciate the power of the words we use”. Every aspect of being an ethical leader is dependent on the words we choose. This is the second lesson I learnt. Throughout my LIA, I frequently referred back to the infographic below about ethical leadership attributes and I’d like to highlight how the power of our words influences these attributes.

Image 5: Infographic I would frequently refer to about the qualities of effective, ethical leaders

For example, a key aspect of ethical, effective leadership is being able to learn continually and reflect on decisions we have made previously and how we can improve next time we make a similar decision. Hence, having a balanced and introspective inner voice that guides daily decisions as a leader is just as important as having the loudest voice in the room when it comes to leadership.

Another example of the power of our words as leaders is seen when trying to turn ideas into action through collaborating with a team. The LIA project I ended up completing was not the project that initially decided to do. I came up with a few different ideas for my LIA but in the initial weeks of trying to turn my ideas into action, the original project ideas fell short. I needed to recalibrate. During a meeting I arranged with Kelci, I proposed my new LIA project – ‘The Big Charity Fundraiser’ for If U Care Share. After finishing talking about my new LIA idea, Kelci immediately said ‘Wow, I can tell you’re really passionate about this idea!’. I carried this energy and enthusiasm throughout the rest of my LIA. Through passionately speaking about the charity and my project with various stakeholders (e.g. Business owners, musicians, my college JCR president, my college operations team) I was able to convey meaning and purpose, which helped me get people on board with my ideas.

After I completed my LIA I had an immense sense of pride. My confidence and leadership skills were boosted again.

So, what’s next?

Referring to my mountain adventurer metaphor from my very first blog post, do I feel like I am “admiring the view from the summit” after completing 2 years on the Laidlaw Scholarship program? Absolutely not! My original metaphor makes it sound like completing the program would signify my reaching the peak of leadership. Although my time on the scholarship program has significantly shaped and developed my confidence and leadership skills, becoming an ethical leader and responsible global citizen is a lifelong journey of continual learning. The excitement of meeting fellow like-minded scholars at the leadership residential, listening intently to a variety of guest speaker workshops, completing my research project and the journey of LIA have all formed an integral part of shaping who I am today. Completing the Laidlaw Scholarship Program will act as my next stepping stone into a future career. I aspire to work at a global biotechnology/pharmaceutical company in the near future and I will carry every lesson in ethical leadership and global citizenship responsibilities along with me.

Image 6: Climbing to the top of the Jacob's Ladder at our first Laidlaw leadership residential!