What went well?

The progress I made; what was achieved and done

Mind-Brent, Westminster, and Wandsworth is a local mental health charity that provides a robust array of programs supporting those afflicted with mental health conditions. The organization serves individuals living within its three titular boroughs of London. Individuals are referred to Mind-BWW by GPs or local NGO partners to embolden their recovery by cultivating a sense of self-efficacy and community. Mind-BWW’s major services include:

• Counselling
• Befriending and peer support
• Physical activity and wellness programs
• Painting, film, writing, photography, and music programs
• Communal gardening projects
• Corporate and youth mental health training

I’m grateful that I walked into Mind-BWW with my gates for insight and inspiration open. Entering with watchful eyes has allowed me to absorb and feed from the uplifting spirits at the organization. It’s one thing to read about a list of programs and picture their theoretical delivery. It’s another thing to see commited workers at Mind-BWW coordinating with several stakeholders, tactfully making use of a limited budget, and diligently encouraging participants to make use of their services. The latter exposes the social workers’ humanity, who cannot be mistaken a industrial factory line. Seeing the humanity that initiates these grassroots activities of service, and the humanity of those on the receiving end, serves as a loud reminder of the odd, delicate, and precious human condition that we are all partaking in.

As a remarkably humane enterprise, Mind-BWW provides a formidable inlet into realizing the rejuvenating power of community. On Thursday, I attended their community gardening project, which has been running for about a year in collaboration with another partner NGO. Participants have turned a once barren piece of land into a sprawling green space, with its therapeutic potential blossoming in parallel to its flowers. A group of 7 participants had convened to tend to the garden’s soil, water its flora, rake up dry leaves, and plot out new potential seating spaces. My supervisor greeted everyone personally— introducing himself to newcomers and checking in on all participants attendence. His questions were not feigned attempts at small talk. Instead, his authentic desire to learn how the participants were doing was one way of honouring and destigmatizing their lived experiences. I was struck when some of the participants answered: “actually, no, I’m not doing well today.” This kind of candour often does not make its way in today’s anonymizing cities and busy spaces. Yet, the fact that these participants shown up, despite their struggles, helped us all slip into a timeless state of presence in the garden—in which we were drawn closer to our collective pursuit of mental peace.

In my first week here, I’ve noticed that Mind-BWW honors people’s lived experiences in a number of other inspiring ways. Notably, the volunteers taking charge of the gardening group and music group were both once attendees of Mind programs. Both leaders mentioned that they had once been in a very dark place. To see them now pacing around, serving as upstanders for others’ growth, serves as a reminder that there is hope for those who did not have a positive response during small talk hour.

The palpably nourishing atmospheres present at Mind-BWW helped retrospectively calm the anxieties that I’d been carrying while preparing for the first session of my workshop. During my 6-week placement, I will be concurrently leading an introductory meditation workshop for interested participants. I am relaying the key insights of my summer of research, while introducing different meditative techniques.

I spent the month of June creating the schedule and workbook and lessons plans. I had to put myself in beginners’ shoes, while thinking carefully about what messages I want to impart. I had to be cautious in not overwhelming newcomers, nor underselling the incredibly value that meditation can bring in demystifying our experiences.

Thankfully, my first session went much better than my anxieties allowed me to forsee! I am in debt of one of my cherished practitioner friends, who sat on a call with me beforehand and provided invaluable feedback. He helped me step into the role of an instructor by giving me grace and words of encouragement. Likewise, when conducting the session, I tried to be present for the live feedback that I was receiving from participants.

Taken together, growth in the presence of other people is the motto that best captures what I’ve observed and experienced in the first week of my LIA.

What could have been done differently?

Things that did not get done and/or could be changed

When I consider the amount of anxiety I experienced in anticipation of the first session it was not at all proportionate to the challenges I faced. Going forward, I need to be stoic about completing my work to the best of my knowledge, while signing off whatever remains as learning and growth experiences.

I often feel second-order stress about being stressed, as I feel like a hypocrite when failing to live up to the tenets of a growth mindset. I happen to be teaching these principles in my course, so the last thing I need is to be caught in the act of fixed thinking. Besides, it can be easy to embrace your imperfections when the only person experiencing the consequences of your failure is you. By contrast, when my shortcomings end up wasting other people’s time or steering them down a dead end, I feel tempted to treat fixed thinking as being more accountable.

Nevertheless, this conclusion is irrational. Unpredictable externalities are no reason to abandon growth mindsets. If the consequences are truly unpredictable, the only thing that one can hope to do is grow from them. It’s time I took this teaching to heart and be compassionate to myself when I fall short of realizing it.

What did I learn about myself when working with others?

Contributions, behaviours and values I exhibited

I have learned that I deeply admire people who can masterfully make others feel at ease. The effected ease can take on different forms depending on the needs of the hour. Whether it be by anchoring someone during a fit of anxiety or simply lightening a conversation with good humour, these people warm others up to the craggles and grooves of personal challenges, thereby enabling others to feel comfort in their respective positionalities.

This insight has left me pondering a question: what if we inhabited more environments in which social norms and other people could serve as a safety net when we find ourselves in mental misalignment? In truth, this question is better framed as a wish. I wish we could rely on our surroundings to help us bring ourselves back into alignment, rather than having to fend it from exacerbating our conditions.

What did I learn about leadership?

Leadership attributes and insights I developed

My new Leadership fixation is patience. It sounds funny to say, but it’s taking A LOT of patience, to recognize the wide spectrum of areas where we are at a deficit for patience. Three examples stand out from this week.

1. Relationships: In the visions that I had for this placement, I pictured myself making deep connections with coworkers, recipients, and local Londoners. This may seem like a heady goal, but since my visions were hypothetical at the time, reality preferred not to encroach. However, to expect that I’d instantly make such connections is a sign of my impatience. Instead, I must be present to see where each relationship leads. If I spend my time anticipating some ambiguous state of surreal connection, I’ll miss the actual connections in their only manifestation: in the present moment.
2. Cities: My first two days in London were a little overwhelming, because I felt overwhelmed by needing to assimilate the norms of a new (rather expensive) city. Given that my peers were venturing to far-less-traveled pockets of the world, where they might not speak the local language, I was surprised to find myself feeling “out of place” in a city that felt familiar in so many respects. During my adjustment period, the remedy was once again patiently giving myself the time to sync up to the local ways of life.
3. Surprises: When running my meditation session, I had a disheartening encounter with my long-term rival: technology. I did not have a port for the studio projector, and the majority of the participants preferred not to use the online workbook that I created, instead requesting a physical printout. At any other point in my life, I would have been quick to be heavy-handed with myself—whining about my disorganization and inability to perfectly predict the future. A healthy dose of patience helped me accept that I am still learning how to run a workshop. I may as well let myself become calmly sensitized to all the other surprises and hitches in store.

What do I want to develop or focus on next?

What I still need to develop

In the upcoming week, I wish to learn how to respond when participants provide windows into their suffering or pasts. I want to acknowledge their experience, without making them feel pitied, tokenized, or discomforted. While each person is prone to reacting in idiosyncratic ways, I’d like to know which features in a response are most likely to satisfy the participants that I am working with.

I am excited to be building this skill, among many others, in the presence of many inspiring individuals. More growth mindset and patience will likely help along the way :)