Finishing the fourth week, I am excited by what I’ve learned, and frustrated by the multiple issues I’ve been facing (recruitment struggles and getting COVID). Last week I had my first (and only) interview, which taught me a lot. For one thing, the similarities between the HIV and COVID pandemics were enough to trigger my participant’s PTSD, which says a lot. However, we also discussed the differences. My participant noted that he would show more mistrust toward government responses if COVID mainly affected a marginalized population, like HIV/AIDS. This was a super important point that probably reflects many other people’s judgments. However, it was also shaped by COVID misinformation/misconceptions, which my participant voiced a decent amount of. He was shocked by the death and long COVID statistics I gave him at the end of the interview. I plan to make an information sheet to share with my interviewees so people can become more informed in these uncertain times. 

I ended up testing positive for COVID the next Monday. Having COVID has me constantly thinking about what my participant said about COVID and HIV/AIDS, and how I am embodying it. I am also reminded of why I chose this project—its subject matter is very much alive and pressing. I feel guilty taking time away from this project to rest---for example, I rescheduled an interview because I didn't feel well---which feels very ironic. 

My first interview also made me grapple with ethics and data. Firstly, as someone who masks in public generally, I planned to mask at the interview, which made me worry about influencing my participants’ responses. But even if it did, I’m thankful that I masked—clearly, there could have been very real consequences if I hadn’t. Secondly, I questioned how much I was supposed to share about COVID (especially as my participant asked questions during the interview) but I knew I could not leave people in the dark; that’s the opposite of my project’s goals. So, despite my uncertainty, I shared information with him at the end, and I’m very glad I did—he told me he was glad too. I am learning again and again that no data comes before what I want to offer my participants.