Making a good system takes time, but that investment pays off

I’d get frustrated with myself for the large amounts of time it would take me to make both trivial and important decisions. My desire to weigh factors meant I’d spend a lot of time going back and forth between options.  

Quality over completion

Life isn’t about “pumping out” work like a machine. I’d gotten so accustomed to using completion dictate the quality of my work in my university career. If I had x days or y hours until the task was due, I would think that the task was meant to take up the whole of those x days or y hours. I’d rarely feel ready to submit anything until I was dangerously close to the submission deadline. But I found that many of my peers don’t do this, and that I don’t want to live this way either. This is partly because I don’t fear deadlines so much anymore (I hear you; I know this is problematic!), and partly because I’ve realized my work is bound to be imperfect in some respect.

Look for belonging and a community

Life is better when you feel secure and have people to ground you. I underestimated the power of a familiar face.

There are invisible people everywhere

People in the West talk about social issues like homelessness and food insecurity like they are issues reserved for non-Western countries. But there are hierarchies - an oppressor and an oppressed -  in every society and in every space, as long as you are willing to go search for them.

Almost every night, I found myself walking by a beautiful market. Around a brick wall was a large collecting garbage bin. I remember noticing garbage bags beside and not inside a large bin and being puzzled: why wouldn’t you just put that bag inside the bin? Weeks later, I saw a man rummaging through the garbage bag while talking to himself.

Don’t keep looking over your shoulder for the next best thing

The best option for you doesn’t need to be the best option to exist in this world. There are constrains on all the decisions we make in life; no matter how much privilege we hold, we’ll never have the liberty of

Allow what you say to be understood

People tell me that I sound sophisticated when I speak, and they’ve said it to me with both good and bad connotations. They say my mentioning of theories and politics and philosophy made my ideas sound very “otherworldly”, which is exactly the way the voice in my head speaks to me. I found that while that type of communication puts me most at home because it’s what I use most, it’s not effective in every space. I’ve found, thus, that learning how to repackage my ideas is part of being an effective communicator.

Run through the rain

There’s no use waiting for the rain to stop while its pouring on you, just keep running. Either it’ll stop or you’ll outrun the rain cloud. And as an added plus, your body temperature won’t go down.

Get through it

When I think about an unpleasant feeling, I think I’m experiencing that emotion while time is staying still. I don’t realize that as I’m actively feeling that emotion, I’m temporally getting further and further away from it. This means that when I’m feeling pain, it also means I’m going through it; every second of pain is one second closer to being relieved of it.

Don’t be satisfied

If you think you can make something better than in already is, then try it. That type of iteration involves some risk, but it makes productive progress.

Remember where you’ve come from

Oxford is steeped in history, and its residents are proud of that history. Embracing your background and what makes you who you are helps provide community in this big world.

Learn about yourself

Understanding your needs, wants, priorities and life philosophies. Not only will you be able to take better care of yourself, but you’ll also be able to have more fruitful relationships with people, places, tasks and your life ambitions.  

Press on

Missed a meeting? Haven’t responded to those emails? Behind on your plan for the day? Don’t stop. Life keeps going, and so do you. Also remember that you as a person still exist in those moments, and that your humanity can never be paused. So if you are stressed but your family or friends need you, don’t neglect them.

Tone and phrasing matters

When I picture someone saying “my exams were hard” or “I have so much to do”, I don’t picture them with a cheerful expression or smile. But at Oxford, I met people who do just that. Hearing from them helped me see that though someone’s circumstances can be difficult, you may be making them harder than they already are because of how you talk to yourself or who you surround yourself with. The less you complain, the less complain-worthy that thing becomes.

Somethings aren’t deserved

There’s a doctrine of criminal law that says, in essence, that we only punish people for what they are responsible for. When negated, the doctrine suggests that we should only reward people for the things they are responsible for. But there are good things in this world that come to unethical people, and bad things that come to the most innocent souls. This must mean that we don’t deserve everything that happens to us. [As someone who sees life as cosmic balance, I find this unsettling because I feel less agency over my life.]

Put yourself in rooms you aren’t comfortable in

If you don’t get uncomfortable, you won’t learn as much.