My birthday has always been a strange day. From when I was young, I can recall memories of feeling inexplicably lonely, far from friends who were on summer holidays or having to share the limelight with the adjacent birthdays of my cousins and siblings. As I have grown, my birthday has evolved into a mish-mash celebration. It has become a day that is about celebrating the people in my life that have helped to make me who I am. This year, my birthday just so happened to coincide with the last day of my Leadership in Action project with TSN. I had the privilege of celebrating some great achievements and the relationships that have been forged during my past six weeks in Boston. I can whole-heartedly say that the Timothy Smith Network has been the most generous and compassionate organisation I have ever worked with. I may not find another organisation that was so willing to see me as an equal, regardless of my lack of technical expertise, my age or professional experience. This, I believe, is the true 'special sauce' of the family that is TSN. Their ability to trust in the common good of people and readily share responsibility, gives newcomers a chance to rise to the challenge; to test our limits and speed-run our interpersonal growth in the process.

To keep this short, I would like to structure this final reflection with one rose, one bud and one thorn. This is just a fancy way of explaining what went well, where there was an opportunity for growth, and what could have been done better. 

1. The Rose: I would like to elaborate on my point about shared responsibility. I have been confronted with my skewed view of what it means to orchestrate social impact. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have learnt what it means to come into an organisation as it is still developing. There is something fundamentally different about the way an organisation like this is run. It must work fast and morphs constantly - sometimes meaning you get handed a lot of important responsibilities, deciding that the time to act is now, as imperfect as it may seem. This has greatly altered what I believe I am capable of. I know now that with consistent action, collaboration and determination, really anything can be accomplished. The greatest lesson is that this is independent of prior expertise. Anything and everything can be learnt. As my dad always likes to remind me, there is no such thing as talent, only your ability to commit and keep going.
2. The Bud: My biggest opportunity for growth during this project was knowing how to balance action, patience and creativity. I believe these qualities work dependently. A true leader knows when to yield which quality, working reactively to the situation at hand. In working as a mentor, an instructor and a somewhat student myself, I was met with some situations that required me to step back, delegate and rethink my strategy; other times I needed to work fast and lead, even when I was intimidated or unsure. I found that a lot of the time I was trying to wait for someone to give me an answer or to be undeniably sure that I was making the right decision. But often, I had to just improvise, relying on intuition and action to carry me through...because it had to. It takes time to understand the delicate balance of these qualities. I think this awareness will change how I take charge of future projects, challenging situations and my professional development. 
3. The Thorn: I think what could have been done better during this project was the way I prepared for my role. Coming into this project as a biologist, electronics was not really my forte. In retrospect, that didn't really matter, though I believed this would be the biggest point of discomfort. My willingness to learn from others meant that learning the hard skills was the easy bit. I realised what I really should have been preparing for before the project was how to manage the breadth of learning abilities of the interns I would be mentoring. Through adapting my method of teaching my module and seeking out feedback from other instructors, I was able to reframe my learning expectations of the interns I was teaching. As time went on, I realised I just needed to trust the process and trust in my ability to learn from the situations that came. Interestingly, it seemed that the greatest progress and momentum was generated when I took the pressure off myself. I will carry this sentiment with me as I go into my final year of university - you cannot think your way into success; you can only do what you can and work with a sense of humour. 

Overall, it was the people that defined my experience, as it always does.

I would like to thank the TSN team who have worked tirelessly behind the scenes to provide such a valuable experience to scholars, staff and interns alike. I would also like to thank my fellow instructors and the interns that I have had the incredible opportunity to teach. The endless support and patience throughout the programme taught me how much stronger we are when we have a team to fall back on. 

I would also like to acknowledge the work of my Laidlaw supervisor, Beccy. Her support with the logistics and planning for this project made it a smooth and unforgettable experience. I would also like to express my gratitude to all the other members of the Laidlaw Network that shaped my experience in Boston, namely Andrew Singleton for his hospitality and wisdom, as well as the alumni scholars of TSN for their advice with my application for this project.

I can safely say I have no regrets at the end of my time in Boston. As I write this last post in the airport waiting for my plane home, I can only say that any future scholars that are considering this project as their Leadership in Action will be in for a great experience that challenges them to rethink how they show up and how they carry the weight of responsibility. I hope you have enjoyed following me on my journey. Feel free to reach out if you have any further questions!