Hi all, 

It's time for another one of these reflection blogs and I have to say I am beginning to enjoy these a lot more than I did the first time I wrote one. I used to be filled with dread to some extent at the thought of sitting down, reflecting, and spending time typing my thoughts, but now I really appreciate the opportunity to take time to record some of the many thoughts I have in my brain. I can't say I will definitely keep journalling, but I hope I do, or at least take some time to jot down things I am proud of or wish were better - it is super super therapeutic. 

While I have been absolutely loving my time in Kigali and at SOLA, I am starting to long for the cleaner air of a forest at home (which was item 1 on my notes app entitled 'things I am yearning for'). That stands up there with cheesestrings, time with my dog, and a hug from my mum. The past week has been characterised by chaos, as the second session of the Summer School programme began - with an expectation for me to be teaching intensive maths, without being told who my students were, when I was supposed to teach, or what classroom would be available to me. Compounding the logistical issues, the printer completely broke, and the students that did turn up to my classes were far fewer in number compared to session 1, as many were informed they did not need to continue in intensive classes. What this meant practically, was that I was able to play a role more similar to that of a lecturer - discussing concepts and walking through examples on the board for students to take notes on for the duration of the lessons, rather than giving them worksheets to complete independently. 

I absolutely relished this challenge, as I find it very easy to be conversational and instructive in tone, emphasising flexibility as I discuss those topics which the girls hoped to improve at, and challenging myself to create presentable notes for them to copy down in places. This was especially difficult, given my own notes are often illegible to anyone else, so particular effort has had to be put into presentation (and the different colour whiteboard markers are very helpful). The novelty of explaining concepts on a whiteboard while lecturing / teaching has not been lost on me - as this was always something I wanted to do as a student myself. I always enjoyed drawing pictures on the whiteboard during breaktime, and on a few occasions I have come back from lunch to see one of the girls has done the same, which is super uplifting. 

I have also been told by the girls that some of them have found my blog posts so hi to all of you! I hope I have not embarrassing you but you all are seriously so incredible and have given me so much hope for the present and the future. You have been so welcoming and I love taking part in evening and weekend activities and just feel so welcome on campus. 

Outside of teaching, this week has consisted of some work towards my dissertation, which has been slow and steady progress, and a lot of walking around Kigali late at night with Z, talking about culture and life in Afghanistan and Bangladesh. That is a wonderful opportunity to talk and understand more about the world that I could never take for granted. I have also been on a long streak of playing chess online - which I have steadily replaced 'doomscrolling' with, which is obviously, but nevertheless remarkably transformative to my energy levels and overall mood. That has brought a lot of joy as I have hit a new peak in rating. 

I also had a really nice evening one night with some other volunteers, going to get pizzas at a very nice place, and discussing the differences between school and life in the US and the UK. I inadvertently used the phrase 'whole nother box of frogs' which was very well received as a new idiom for the others. There has been a theme this week of linguistic humour among students and volunteers alike - we had one really fun evening where we were playing table tennis with a makeshift net, and talking about different words and phrases in Dari, French, German, US English, and British English. I attempted to explain that my Essex accent is very toned down when communicating with an international community, and it was very silly saying different expressions in a variety of voices. The evenings on campus are very fun - yesterday I spent hours playing football, basketball, and badminton with the girls, and tonight consisted of some (incredibly knackering) basketball.

Today was also such a good day (coming back to add to what I had previously saved as a draft) - wandering around the EcoPark where I was able to see some huge bamboo and a variety of beautiful bird species. Then after a speedy coffee stop, I went with 2 volunteers to eat Ethiopian food for lunch which was delicious and rounded off a really nice morning. Tomorrow I am excited to hike up Mount Kigali after a bit of a well-earned lie-in. 

Also I would like to write in one of these posts that I really appreciate the comments by Benjamin Margetts on these reflection blogs - I realise I haven't written any replies to them, but I have taken them all on board, especially those on my post from Week 4 - the conflict between intellectualisation and understanding of myself is difficult and I think a battle that will always persist in my brain, but I am not as harsh on myself anymore. I definitely struggle with thinking too much and my thoughts always bouncing around, struggling to sit still in mundane moments and thinking conceptually about the role I ought to fill in conversations, while simultaneously dissociating from the topic of conversation as I focus on appearing to listen, and considering the novelty that I am conscious of the fact I am doing this. Understanding how my brain works has always been a challenge but one that I now love - I feel very supported by fellow volunteers who acknowledge that I talk a lot about a lot of things, and that I can be energetic and 'bouncy' in thoughts, but that they like to listen to the symphony of chaos that constitutes Albert. I do have to say, I have grown fonder of myself as I have grown up in the past year or so, and that feels remarkable in a way I truly cannot begin to convey. But I suppose I don't have to convey that - it is for me, and I know how I feel now compared to how I used to, and I have to say thank you Albert, keep doing your best.

Much love to everyone, 

Albert.