Reflection Blog 1
After a first week I am principally glad to find myself so at ease and inspired by my fellow scholars - which is uniquely important given the group nature of our research. As such to feel so intellectually stimulated by those around me has contributed largely to my comfort and thus anticipation for the ensuing endeavours.
This notwithstanding, to approach a project unknown to us before the start of the week was confusing and thus a challenge. I see myself as one who prefers to mull over my plans for a substantial period of time and understand what precisely is expected of me. In this fashion I only feel satisfied to deliver something which I feel utterly comfortable with. A project over which (being but a part of a wider group) I evidently do not exercise a final say, was therefore a sign for me to relax my desire for control - which I recognise is neither healthy nor helpful. Moreover, the gap between results one would wish for (if one had optimal resources) and the results which we may realistically be able to achieve is large. Though this again only reflects back to me the error of my perfectionism, rather than some futility of the endeavour itself. Thus, this in no way undermines my enthusiasm for the project itself, and need to not chase an impossible perfection imposes a stress which I am having to accept is natural and inevitable.
Overall the academic pursuit has always been one from which I draw immense pleasure, bringing to bear my prior knowledge and my newly learnt skills from my first year of university I am thoroughly enjoying the process of forming and narrowing the scope and aim of our specific research question. As such this week has only served to highlight the areas in which I may develop my character in a positive direction. In conjunction with the stimulating example of my fellow scholars whom I only increasingly admire and the progression of the research itself I anticipate the coming journey with glee.
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Albee, thank you for your vulnerability in sharing challenges in working in groups as well as having to adapt to different research and work styles. I am sure your group will benefit from your deliberative and considered thinking as you work towards a shorter timeline than may be your preferred pace of work. Tackling and managing perfectionism is a challenge in which I hope, as your character grows, you will be able to balance with compassion for yourself and the incredible work you produce. As you continue with this challenge I am pleased to hear you are deriving joy and satisfaction. I hope these emotions continue to grow as you continue this journey with your group and wider Laidlaw community.