This week was meant to be the most pivotal in my LiA, marking where theoretical and exploratory experimental work shifted towards practical data collection. My supervisor returned from leave, the new marine biologist working on the project began at UTW, and we are planning to acquire the sea cucumber juveniles for placement in the farm. The initial experiments are going well, with proof of concept looking feasible for everything I proposed. However, illness, materials constraints, and power cuts all coincided, disrupting the expected flow of progress. This was the first week where I felt my values truly challenged, with a loss of motivation impairing my ability to push through in the face of the looming end of the project.

On Monday I had planned to meet my supervisor in person after weeks of communicating virtually; this was the first opportunity to demonstrate what I had been working on and get feedback on the physical methods. I woke up with the stomach flu and was bedridden for two days, so I could neither communicate on our future plans nor elaborate on my current status. It was frustrating to sideline myself for recovery when I knew that this was a critical time for collaboration with the team to ensure seamless transfer of information. My temperance and humility were tested, and I remained mindful that I needed to prioritize recovery before beginning work and ask for understanding from my colleagues. I relied on these values further at the end of the week, as when I began feeling well again, we were affected by power cuts and slow WiFi, which clashed with my drive to make up for lost time and achieve my milestones for the week. Looking ahead, I aim to redefine my time management plan to account for these spontaneous obstacles.

Limitations on materials also began to thwart my project, and I am striving to accommodate the vast gap between what is attainable in a small-budget NGO and a laboratory setting. Factors which I took for granted, such as having a bounty of glassware and reagents which could be adjusted to suitable concentration, are simply prohibitive to many organizations. Doing repeat trials for confidence with only one glass and a shared stove is time-intensive, as is doing reactions with dilute household products (i.e. bleach) that require higher amounts and multiple treatments to be effective. After finalizing initially promising results for the organic matter trials that I had been struggling with, I was devastated to re-work through my methodology and realize that I needed much more reagent than previously planned for, and that the procedure would have to be reworked to prevent unwanted side effects. At this point, I also came to appreciate one more missing resource: subject matter experts. Working in or adjacent to a university lab, there are always professors and other researchers nearby, but here, the only chemistry knowledge I have to rely on is my own, and what I can dredge up from literature. It has granted me renewed comprehension of the independence a project of this nature requires as well as what capacities I must develop. I feel a new reliance on design thinking and problem solving in my process and critical thinking and vision to ensure performance. On the positive side, reflecting through this lens has enabled me to see even more the necessity for projects like these, to keep science and research accessible to organizations with limited resources. In the coming weeks, I plan to take inventory of what resources I have, and I how I can use them most effectively to make tangible progress.

The convergence of these difficult impacted by ambition, as it began to feel impossible that I would achieve what I had set out to do. I drew upon transcendence to visualize how this fit into the broader issues, and what I could salvage if I needed to narrow the scope of the project for the six weeks. While I made a conscious effort to incorporate this dimension, it made me aware that this project was a true workout of the values I wished to embody. It is relatively easy to feel comfortable in one's character when things are easy, and to appreciate how different values manifest themself in daily life. However, being thrust into turbulence is what encourages growth of new thinking patterns and ways to lead oneself and others. For the final third of my LiA, my objective is to incorporate new strategies with my established knowledge to keep myself moving forward and not mired in sudden setbacks.