From wardrobe malfunctions to subpar public-speaking, the chaos of my first week in Boston has fundamentally changed my understanding of a 'job well done'. Often in life, I have been praised for my ability to candidly share my opinions, remain calm in sticky situations and lead with care-free confidence. All this time, my self-belief has been built on my sense of resourcefulness and creativity; against all odds, I thought I had proved my ability to work well under pressure. Yet, in my first week in Boston, I promptly realised the sheer arrogance and unadulterated ego that has defined my understanding of doing a 'good job', as well as the shallowness of the experiences where I thought I had been showcasing a truly resilient character.
I understood from the beginning of my Laidlaw journey that a 'Leadership in Action' project is about selflessness, humility and leading through complex situations. But I had never come face-to-face with how much I only understood these values in theory, rather than in action. I had not realised that the environments where I had supposedly showcased these values in the past, were nothing more than spoon-fed and safe-guarded instances, that were merely shadows of the trials of integrity that you face in the real working world. Don't get me wrong, I have worked difficult jobs before, but it is not often acknowledged how easily we can coast the responsibilities of work, believing we are making difficult decisions with resilience, when in actuality, we are barely skimming the surface of confronting and challenging the limitations of our character.
Often, making the truly selfless, patient or transcendent choice feels uncomfortable and unforgiving. Sometimes true selflessness, humility and leadership means understanding when your presence does more harm than good; it means relinquishing your pride and your persistent ego, because a lack of resources and time means decisions must be made fast and imperfectly; it means opening yourself up to the disheartening possibility that you understand the complexities of the world far less than what you had imagined.
As Muhammad Ali famously once said, 'There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.' In acknowledging the humorous limitations of my experience and character, I really believe that I have come to realise a few actual truths about the reality of community impact.
Firstly, you will never have all the answers, and you should never believe that you have all the answers. It may sound trite but knowing how to ask the right questions will always be more impactful than believing you have all the right answers; often asking for help not only leads you to more robust solutions, but it will benefit the cohesiveness of your team when you learn to rely on others and delegate strategies effectively.
Secondly, you should never expect to get the reassurance that you are doing a good job. Ironically, this may contradict the first truth in some regards, but the truth is that many organisations, especially those that are grassroot or non-profit, will not have the capacity to consistently provide digestible feedback and support. It is not their job to make you feel like you are a good, smart or helpful person; you must have the bravery to believe in your ability to take ownership of the choices you make and design your own standard for a 'job well done'.
Thirdly and finally, the right to lead is not a given, but is earned through persistent action. We are not crowned leaders in some great hall, but we slowly unveil our propensity for leadership as we use every opportunity that comes our way to show our willingness, our kindness and our determination to succeed. As we make these choices every day, we slowly start to evolve into the leaders we want to be.