Today was a bit of a slower week. I wasn’t feeling well going into this week, and that upset our rhythm. I wasn’t as proactive this week in touching base with my group which meant that I wasn’t as sure of the direction I wanted or needed to take. It’s really pressed on me the importance of making sure we’re all on the same page so that any work we do is aligned with each other and our project.
It feels a bit awkward to be asking for group meetings or setting objectives, because I don’t have a clear idea of what the exact plan is either and I haven’t done much work either. But I think next week will mean doing things even when I’m unsure or uncomfortable: searching for papers even if I’m not 100% certain of the direction we want to pursue, reading things that I’m not sure will relate to our final output, and being the pushy one by asking to meet.
While a bit unrelated to our project itself, we had the opportunity this week to go on a ‘Uncomfortable Oxford’ tour which takes people through the Oxford city centre and discusses some of the controversial and unethical components of Oxford’s history. We had a conversation about what should be done with the statue of Cecil Rhodes. Personally, I never look at a statue and assume whoever it is modelled after is some venerable pillar of morality. Knowing the history of both my own country and the UK, I think the figures that have been celebrated for much of history have often done things that are unequivocablly wrong, such as enslaving people. To me, it matters little whether the statue is up or not. Having a statue up there will not change how I view a certain person, but I recognize that isn’t always the case. By leaving the statues of such historical figures in places of honour, it feels like we might be condoning acts that should be condemned.
I think these are important conversations, especially, in a place like Oxford where we are benefitting from the past and arguably present exploitation of others. The endowments that subsidize our rent did not spring out of the air. They grew, in part, by investing in companies with unsustainable practices and from donors who made their wealth off of exploiting people and the planet.
As I continue with my degree at Oxford and the Laidlaw program, I want to think more about the systems that have allowed me to be in this space and whether these systems need to be changed.
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Gina, thank you for such an honest reflection. I really appreciate your willingness to write about a week that didn't go exactly as planned. Recognising when your rhythm has been disrupted and thinking carefully about how it affected both you and your group demonstrates a high level of self-awareness.
I particularly liked your reflection on uncertainty. Your comment about needing to contribute even when you don't yet have complete clarity is an important insight. Research rarely begins with certainty, and one of the challenges of collaborative research is learning to move projects forward despite ambiguity. Your goal of being more proactive, even when you're unsure, is an excellent one.
Your reflections on the Uncomfortable Oxford tour were also thoughtful. Rather than simply stating an opinion, you acknowledge different perspectives and wrestle with the complexity of questions surrounding historical memory, public symbols and institutional responsibility. I especially appreciated that you moved beyond the question of individual statues to consider the broader systems that continue to shape universities today.
Your concluding sentence was particularly powerful:
'As I continue with my degree at Oxford and the Laidlaw program, I want to think more about the systems that have allowed me to be in this space and whether these systems need to be changed.'
That demonstrates exactly the sort of critical reflection we hope scholars will develop — moving from describing an experience to questioning the wider structures and assumptions behind it.
One small challenge I'd leave you with is to think about how these two parts of your reflection connect. On the surface, one is about teamwork and the other about Oxford's history, but both involve questions of responsibility and agency. In one case you're asking, 'What is my responsibility within my team?' In the other you're asking, 'What is my responsibility within a wider institution?' Drawing connections like these can make your reflections even more insightful.
Overall, this is a mature and reflective piece. It demonstrates intellectual curiosity, honesty about challenges and a willingness to engage with complex questions rather than searching for easy answers.