When I applied for the Laidlaw Program I had an idea in my head of how my project would look, how my research would unfold — a plan. But, as with all assumptions, these ideas quickly dissolved upon contact with reality. Beginning my work, I felt overwhelmed by the scope of my project. The sources, papers, readings, findings — and crucially how to connect them all — seemed all too much.

Initially, I began to question my ability, and whether what I had envisioned could be achieved. I felt confused, and burned out, before I'd even finished a full week. Instead of working blindly, I decided to step back and give myself some space to breathe, and to think. As I stepped back, I realised that the stress I felt was from how I was looking at things.

I was looking at every aspect of my research — from dense technical reports, to scientific literature, to government records and regulations — all at once. All together, it looked like too much, especially for someone just starting out. But, I realised that if I just looked at one piece, it became a lot simpler. Focusing on one part at a time, I could ground myself in one objective, give it my full attention, and neatly file it away in my mind and my notes as a piece of the puzzle. 

My original plan fell apart, but I'm grateful it did, because through it I was able to develop a new approach. As someone who's always resisted change it was challenging for me, however I realise that now was the best possible time for this to happen. Now I understand how to approach my project — pull it apart and put it back together again.