It was my near 30th attempt at filming the self-introduction video. I had somehow managed to scramble together a cohesive research proposal and awesome supervisor, and now all that remained was just recording myself speaking for 2 minutes. Yet this one incredibly simple task, proved to be the most daunting and difficult challenge in submitting my Laidlaw application. I couldn't stand the way I stumbled over my words, the way I kept breaking eye contact with the camera, the way I clung to filler words like 'Emm' and 'Uhh' all the time while speaking. I detested myself in every single take. 
Yet, it was roughly 30 minutes before the application deadline, that I remember something in me just 'snapped'. In my first filming attempt for that day, I free-styled and went off-script, didn't even look over the recording, and just frustratingly hit the 'submit' button. One month and an interview later I was informed I had won the Laidlaw Scholarship. 

Now, after more than a year of unforgettable memories and experiences, my time with the Programme is coming to a close. Not only has the Scholarship enabled my thorough development as a leader, but it also gave me the opportunity to learn about various fields and make lifelong friends. My understanding of leadership has also evolved so much. It cannot be understated just how many incredible people I was able to meet solely through the Laidlaw Scholarship, who have all contributed to what I now understand and  know about being an ethical leader and global citizen.

Research and academia, for starters, was never a field that was palatable to me. Even in the initial interview panel, I had bluntly told the panellists it was the component I least looked forward to if I was to get accepted. After finishing the research project however, my views could not have been more changed. 
Not only did I foster a newfound passion for research after working with so many remarkable academics, I had even walked away with a greater interest and appreciation for machine learning and AI, which was a last-minute implementation that significantly contributed to the project's success. Even to this day, I continue reading up on all the latest developments in the field and aspire to bolster my knowledge for a future project/venture applying these technologies. The research process also instilled strong values of resilience, adaptability and initiative inside me too. It reinforced the importance of making tough decisions when needed and embracing hardships (such as dealing with endless coding errors), but it also demonstrated how necessary it was to change direction when things aren't going as planned. The project's successful results could never have been achieved had I stubbornly stuck with my initial flawed research proposal and didn't experiment using new methods, such as machine learning, for analysing disinformation.

I also cannot talk about the Programme without naturally mentioning the Annual Conference, which I can only describe as profoundly motivating. It was the first time meeting cohorts of Scholars from outside Trinity, and listening to their individual stories and journeys. I enriched my understanding on various topics through seeing others' research, and participated in deep conversations on global issues. Through meeting the other Scholars, I really sensed a vibrant community teeming with colourful ideas and ambition; one that I am proud to be part of and hope to further enrich through pursuing my goals and passions. 

Ultimately, I must end on the note of talking about my LiA experience, which was the most pivotal experience of my Laidlaw journey. I spent my winter break working with CGE, a German NGO that helps various social impact projects access EU funding and support. Over the course of my time there, I had the immense privilege of working on a variety of projects with different co-ordinators. For a project focussing on providing non-formal educators with the tools and network needed for practising critical reflection, I helped set up and participate in their first training camp. For another project focussing on including marginalised communities in deciding European Green Deal policies, I published a website of workshops that helped educate people on the EGD and Just Transition. I worked on several more projects in other unique ways too, that all aimed at tackling relevant, cosmically significant issues.
These endeavours helped me realise the importance of initiative and integrity in leadership, but ultimately also the value of leading to help and empower others. As a direct result of this experience, my desired future direction and trajectory has unquestionably shifted; now embracing a much deeper passion for social impact and global challenges. 

I extend my most heartfelt gratitude to the Laidlaw Foundation for granting me a life-changing Scholarship and a mosaic of experiences. Through the Programme, I have gained a stronger understanding of myself, my character and my leadership values; which I hope to use in serving others going forward.

It was, for me, a striking transformation.
From an awkward and camera-shy student, to a young, future leader hoping to change the world.