As I reach the mid-way point of my Leadership in Action (LIA) project in Medellín, Colombia, I find myself reflecting on a week that has been a blend of collective burnout, unexpected challenges, and moments of personal growth. Hitting the halfway mark has brought a stark realization of how little time we have left, triggering a mix of panic and determination among my fellow scholars and me.

This week, I felt lost and mentally struggled to push forward without addressing the underlying issues. Our project with Sueños y Huellas experienced a standstill mid-week, largely due to a communication breakdown. While we were given the concept of crowdfunding as a goal, the definition was vague, leaving us uncertain about our direction. The weight of responsibility, both logistically and emotionally, was overwhelming. It wasn't until I stepped back this weekend that I realized how much I was internalizing the project's struggles and the emotions of those around me.

Our team dynamics placed me in an informal leadership role, which led to feelings of guilt and responsibility when the project faltered. This made it challenging to steer the project in a new direction. However, my friend Oliver's words resonated with me: "Feeling guilt shows you know how to feel accountable, which will help you know how to hold others accountable later and move on."

The Laidlaw Community

Despite the challenges, the people around me have been a crucial support system. My fellow Laidlaw scholars have provided immense support in various ways. Michelle consistently looks out for our team and knows when to make me step away for my own good. Rachel was the perfect partner for exploring Park Arví, offering a needed escape into nature. Otilia and Raven provided a safe space to relax and let loose. And of course, my support network at home who have been instrumental in keeping me on the right path this week. I could honestly go on and on about the contributions of everyone but it would be longwinded. 

Often when I have written reflections about my own performance I consistently come back to the sticking point of independence - is it a strength or is it a weakness? Regardless whatever progress I make on it seems to reset every time I take a new role. I consistently try to take too much control over projects or tasks. I hope at least this week has been a wake-up call about how to be an active team member going forward. 

The Medellín Community

This week we did lots of different things alongside our main project. One of those was a visit to Sueños y Huellas on Wednesday, which was equal parts stressful, chaotic and fun. As it was our team's organisation that we were showcasing to the others it was a memorable experience, although that is mostly through their contributions. As we were "managing" the sessions, it allowed me to practice being adaptable, as things we planned fell apart and I led an impromptu drawing exercise with the children. 

Hearing from the children about what Sueños y Huellas means to them was enlightening. Words like "amor," "familia," and "aprender" (love, family, and learn) consistently came up. One child drew a tree symbolizing the organization, describing it as a family growing with roots (Sueños) and branches (the children). This heartfelt moment was a crucial reminder of the importance and purpose of our projects.

It was also moments like seeing Oliver's now famous crab-salsa-dance which reminded me about the joy that volunteering can also bring! (As shown iconically below - sorry Oliver!)

We also hosted a picnic with student volunteers from Universidad Pontificia Bolivariana (UPB) who will be helping with our project over the next few weeks. They were so eager to get to know us but also to share, telling us so many stories about their lives and Medellín: what it's like being a student there, what their career goals are, and what they love about their city. Their enthusiasm added a much-needed boost to our project, especially during turbulent times.

Stepping Back

After a busy and confusing week, I decided to step back during the weekend. I avoided my laptop and emails, choosing instead to enjoy Medellín in my own way. On Saturday a hike through Park Arví provided much-needed green therapy, with stunning views from the cable cars and six hours of nature and near silence. This was a stark contrast to Sunday with the vibrant and bustling Comuna 13, where music, art, and community thrive. Some of my fellow scholars in Medellín have explained the history better than I have and I would highly recommend reading about it from them. Both experiences offered unique insights and a break from the project's pressures.

Stepping away from the project allowed me to clear my mind and recharge. Sometimes, taking a break is as necessary as working hard, for both personal well-being and the benefit of the project. As I move forward into the coming weeks, I hope to carry these lessons with me, balancing responsibility with self-care and relying on the strength of the incredible people around me.