This past week has left me thinking a lot about white saviorism – and wariness of white saviorism. There’s been a sort of elephant in the room for me from the beginning of this Laidlaw project: going to another country to be a “leader” feels completely phony when I’m at GSBTB, surrounded by both people who are much more professionally experienced in immigration services than me and people who have actually survived the immigration / refugee system that I never have had to see. I’m also living in Neukölln, a neighborhood with a high percentage of residents with ties to the Middle East, as protests grow in support of Palestine. The idea that a white girl from America with zero professional experience could possibly contribute to either of these situations is ridiculous, and worst of all, becomes a total caricature of “white saviorism.”

My fear of appearing to have a white savior complex affected my decision of location for my second Laidlaw summer. I remember thinking that it felt exploitative to go to any country that was significantly poorer than my own, specifically because my own resume will benefit from this summer, but the people in the country I choose likely won’t benefit much from my help. So, I chose Germany, reasoning that no one could criticize me for going to a country where I spoke the language and had familial ties. I still ended up working at a nonprofit that focuses on immigrants and refugees, though. I knew that, back on Columbia’s campus, telling people I spent the summer “teaching music to refugees” would raise some eyebrows. My qualms about white saviorism have continued, even in Berlin.

Over the past week, however, I’ve decided that this is no longer a trope that I want to worry about – for two reasons. The first is that I realized this concern of mine is vain: I’m worried about how it looks for me to be working with the demographics that I am. Why do I assume that everyone is looking at me in the first place?

The second reason is that I no longer believe that we should try to avoid white saviorism. As I’ve thought about this whole situation, I’ve realized that a world in which it is ethically wrong to seek out socioeconomic and ethnic difference does not offer a promising future. Climate migration, the Israel-Hamas War, and other global conflicts are going to displace incredible numbers of people, and in doing so, they will force us to reckon with the fact that most of these conflicts are created, directly or indirectly, by the US. My queasiness around helping those with a migrant background came from a fear of doing it incorrectly. I was afraid I’d say something ignorant or racist, or that I would look like I was fetishizing racial difference – essentially, I was afraid that I would be just another American continuing our flawed legacy abroad. But interactions with people from non-Western backgrounds are inevitable, and our track record will only improve with effort, not standoffishness.

Honestly, I’m still thinking this through. If anyone disagrees or wants to discuss, I'm very open to it :)