Looking Back

It is difficult to separate what I expected at the beginning of my Laidlaw journey to what I have since learned in the year and a half I have been a part of this programme. I entered with an understanding of leadership formed from my own personal experiences and shaped by the environments close to myself. Since then, I have been pushed to broaden my understandings of leadership, develop skills far beyond those I already possessed and thrive in situations where neither my knowledge nor my assumptions were sufficient. Working through these lessons has gradually changed the way I approach problems, understand leadership and collaborate with others but more than all this I have learnt what it means to be a true global citizen and lead every day with integrity, empathy and strength.

Each aspect of the programme, which I will cover in detail throughout this reflection, has taught me something different about the kind of leader I want to become, and the work still required to get there. Research taught me how to keep calm under pressure, how flexibility is key and to accept that progress is rarely linear. Meeting other scholars through the conference, character project or even in my LiA exposed me to perspectives that challenged my own and taught me how valuable contradiction and discussion can be. My experiences during the leadership development sessions and the OCP sessions encouraged me to look deeper at both my actions and the motivations behind them, allowing me to develop and assess my own character. And finally, my Leadership in Action Project required me to put together these lessons in an environment entirely different to my usual bubble, observing and understanding different meanings of leadership and global citizenship.

As I reach the end of my time with the program, I want to use this final reflection to understand the progression more deliberately. The experiences themselves are great stories, but it is what they have left behind and instilled in me that matters more.

Tracing Growth

Research Summer

My research summer was where I first began to understand what it meant to take ownership of a problem rather than simply learn about it. I had the great privilege of working with Dr Niklas Ihssen on ‘Logged Off – Exploring Motivational Processes Behind the Non-Use of Social Media’, an important study investigating and comparing the effect of different motivational criteria (social needs fulfilment, social reward and sensitivity to social rewards) on the usage of social media applications. It was incredibly fulfilling to develop a project from theory to written report but not without its challenges. Most notably a system failure the day of the participant onboarding found me in a rather panicked state as participants were recruited but no responses could be found in the recording spreadsheet. Luckily, I managed to quickly pause recruitment and contact the software developer in order to fix the issue.

The biggest learning curve during this project was certainly in all aspects of my process capacities. Having never worked essentially solo on a project of this magnitude and complexity I found myself somewhat overwhelmed, but the unwavering support and encouragement of my supervisor as well as my own drive and curiosity allowed me to swiftly find my footing and complete an incredibly interesting and rewarding project. Aside from process capacities I developed my own accountability, taking on the responsibility for the completion of the project and outputs as well as my determination and ambition to see the project reach its full potential, contributing meaningfully to the literature and future applications.

Capacities: ‘Process’ as well as ‘critical thinking and reflection’ and ‘communication and influencing’.

Change Maker Values: ‘Curious’, ’Determined’ and ‘Ambitious’

Character: ‘Accountability’ and ‘Drive’

Conference

The conference was a fantastic opportunity to present my project and build friendships and connections with other scholars. I was particularly excited for the opportunity to present to representatives from the Taylor and Francis Publishing Group and whilst my project wasn’t ultimately selected for publication, the experience challenged me to communicate and explain my project clearly and confidently, strengthening my courage and bravery in presenting my work to an unfamiliar audience.

As the hosting university, the conference was certainly a test of time management and temperance as scholars were responsible for supporting the organisation and scheduled events alongside our own participation. I found myself running from one responsibility to the next, balancing making the most out of the conference for my own personal curiosity and development with my commitment to supporting the wider cohort and conference as a whole. I found this ultimately strengthened my accountability, judgment and collaboration dimensions as well as my embodiment of the change maker value ‘fast’.

Capacities: ‘People’

Change Maker Values: ‘Fast’ and ‘Brave’

Character: ‘Collaboration’, ‘Courage’, ‘Accountability’ ‘Temperance’ and ‘Judgement’

Character

The Oxford Character Project sessions provided a quieter and more reflective internal form of development than the practical experiences of the programme, allowing us to properly step back and consider the character behind our actions. Treating character as a something that can be deliberately and thoughtfully cultivated as opposed to a fixed set of qualities encouraged me to think about the ways in which I could develop my own character, and which aspects may require more thought and growth. I found the discussions on this topic with other scholars particularly valuable as it encouraged us all to put into question the meaning of effective leadership and the prioritisation of different character dimensions.

The question of balance between different qualities as well as the overexpression or under expression of the same quality into vice became particularly interesting to me. Courage for example, can tend into recklessness if not checked with judgement or temperance. Too little can become cowardice if there is no drive for example. Considering the fine balance between too much and too little as well as between the various dimensions led me to reflect more honestly on my own tendencies and on areas where that balance has perhaps not reached its full form. The sessions shifted my understanding of character from a passive status quo to the active and deliberate decisions I understand them now to be.

Capacities: ‘Communication and influencing’, ‘Diversity, Equity and Inclusion’ and ‘Critical Thinking and Reflection’

Change Maker Values: ‘Curious’ and ‘Determined’

Character: Particularly ‘Drive’, ‘Judgement’ and ‘Transcendence’

Leadership Development and LiA

A useful foundation for both the LiA and future opportunities for leadership and development, the leadership development days provided an opportunity to understand and think about useful skills and frameworks. The Performance Pyramids, SMART goals and SBI encouraged and informed my approach to communication, goal setting and responsibility, developing accountability and judgement alongside them. Other activities such as the wheel of life recalled lessons from the OCP such as the importance of balance alongside ambition whilst the identification of grace as my core value gave me a personal principle of patience and empathy to return to when navigating challenges. As a whole I found the leadership development days were fantastically thought provoking when it came to a large handful of the Laidlaw Capacities especially ‘Performance’ and were a good starting block for our LiA.

My LiA allowed me to put all of these and more into practice. Working with CraftHER in communities so different to my own required me to use and develop a great deal of the values and dimensions so integral to Laidlaw. Particularly I found I returned with a deeper curiosity, more resilient determination and balanced ambition as well as a strengthened transcendence, humility and humanity through my interactions with people so inspiring and brave despite adverse life events. The experience fundamentally changed my understanding of leadership in that leadership does not always mean taking charge or providing solutions, sometimes it’s about creating space for others, recognising their own expertise and wisdom, and putting yourself in their environment to better listen, understand and champion their cause where they actually need it to be championed. More than any framework or session this experience taught me that passion, caring deeply about the people and purpose behind the project, is what gives leadership its true meaning.

Capacities: Through the consulting projects and interactions with communities all three capacities ‘People’, ‘Process’ and ‘Performance’ were strengthened and developed

Change Maker Values: ‘Curious’, ‘Determined’ and ‘Ambitious’

Character: ‘Transcendence’ ‘Humility’ ‘Humanity’ ‘Collaboration’ and ‘Drive’

Carrying It Forward

As I see my Laidlaw journey reaching completion, I do not believe this the end of my work as a Laidlaw scholar. The end of the programme marks a change in the way in which I engage with it, rather than a point at which its influence stops. If anything, it marks the beginning of the responsibility to carry what I have learnt beyond it, championing the causes, ideals and dimensions of the Laidlaw Scholar. As I move into this period of change, I look ahead to welcoming the new cohort and staying in touch with my fellow scholars across the world. I intend to be a point of contact or support for any scholars considering both the programme as a whole or more specifically the CraftHER LiA. But more than these responsibilities I look forward to continuing my own personal development as well as finding ways to put what I have learnt, and will continue to learn, in service of others: engaging with the world as a global citizen, approaching challenges creatively with humanity and humility, and finding meaningful ways to have a positive impact on those that surround me on this little planet we call home. With this in mind, I hope to continue my business project started in the little streets of Kerala and improve the lives and experiences of those struggling in hospitals and healthcare services.

I began my scholarship with Laidlaw primarily focused on what I could achieve and gain from the programme. I leave with a deeper understanding of the importance of ethical and thoughtful leadership and the people and communities at the centre of the work Laidlaw and so many beautiful organisations undertake. More than simply developing skills and enabling experiences that look good on a CV, Laidlaw has changed the way I want to approach the world. I strive to be more deliberate in my thoughts and actions, always willing to listen and be curious, maintaining humanity and humility in all interactions and importantly working with deeper care with all that surrounds me which forms a small part of the way I now understand global citizenship and ethical leadership. As I move beyond the programme, I hope to continue seeking opportunities that allow me to develop personally and as a global citizen, seeking out challenges and new experiences wherever I go. Thank you to all those that have made even the smallest impact on this journey and thank you to the Laidlaw programme for fostering and supporting a new legacy of leadership in all the scholars it encourages.