Having spoken with everyone on my cohort, lots of us applied to Laidlaw for a summer research opportunity without realising the magnitude of the programme. From networking with like-minded people to being repeatedly pushed out of our comfort zones, Laidlaw was an experience I will never forget.

The first time I realised how grateful I should be to have been accepted was on our leadership training weekend in Cumberland Lodge. Daniella and Adair who were leading the workshops were compassionate, organised visionaries who created an unmatched environment for deep emotional learning. I then realised that there is so much more to leadership than just being an organised good communicator, it’s equally about knowing what kind of person you are and leading through inspiring authenticity instead of instilling fear. We spent hours playing seemingly aimless games like shepherd and the sheep which ended up highlighting individual strengths and weaknesses as future leaders. We discussed different leadership styles and had the chance to ask influential leaders questions. 

Perhaps the most important aspect of that weekend for me personally was reflecting on the activities with my buddy and learning more about each other as a cohort. By the end of just 2 days they became my second family. It felt like a breath of fresh air to meet so many different yet wonderful in their own way people who I am grateful to still be friends with. Human relationships are the backbone of modern society and finding your people is an essential component of being a global citizen which is why I am so thankful to Laidlaw for bringing so many extraordinary people together.

During the first summer of the programme, I worked in a lab for 6 weeks learning not just the hard skills of pipetting and blotting proteins but also the arguably most beneficial soft skills. The biggest lesson from those weeks for me was the importance of honesty in all contexts. One day I made a mistake which cost us a week’s worth of data yet instead of waiting until my supervisor discovered it accidentally, I overcame my fear and head-on told him what happened. This set a wonderful trajectory for our relationship as well as allowing us to fix the mistake with minimal losses. Honesty is important not just in the context of working in a team, but also when being truthful with yourself. In the beginning of my placement I suffered from quite intense impostor syndrome, not knowing how any of the equipment works nor understanding what the majority of the project was about. Coming from a place of insecurity would be to ‘fake it until you make it’ pretending to know what’s happening around me. I, however, decided to admit that I have a lot learn, ask questions and observe everything in detail. This was rewarding not just in a sense of general fulfilment but also helped me build up my inner self-confidence, proving to myself that I can learn to do hard things. 

Building self-confidence is a rolling theme over the course of two years, with spending this summer in Mexico alone being its pinnacle. As a family we have a tradition of sitting down all together on the morning of January 1^st and writing out our goals and plans for the new year. I vividly remember sitting down and writing ‘travel to Mexico for a month to work and make the most of it’ in the beginning of this year. Writing that then didn’t register in my brain because I could not fathom the fact that I am to do that in just a few months. Up until the day I was sat in front of my gate which said “Mexico City” on it I couldn’t believe that a shy, quiet girl is going to the other side of the world by herself. To tell you more, now that I’ve done it and come back from it, my brain still refuses to believe it. But that’s the important thing, other people (and we also) put labels on ourselves restricting what we think we can and can’t do. Being truly honest, I would never have gotten on that plane if I didn’t have to for Laidlaw. It was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life but as I said previously, it taught me so much about myself and how people live. It gave me a newfound sense of self-confidence but also forced me to come out of my bubble and see the world through a different pair of eyes. For me, this precisely means being a global citizen – exploring different cultures, connecting with people but doing it in a respectful and ethical manner. This includes learning the local language, supporting local establishments and allowing the people living there to share their culture with you.  

Opening myself up to so many new opportunities over that month meant that I came back a different, more confident yet also humble person. I now believe that humility isn’t the opposite of confidence but instead the antidote to insecurity. I proved to myself that I can do hard things, but I also met so many special people that are fantastic at what they do. Possibly for the first time in my life, I was in awe of them instead of feelings of jealousy or competitiveness creeping in. I have so much newfound respect for the teachers at the school working 2 full-time jobs a week to afford groceries, for locals who learnt English purely by watching movies to make the most of the opportunities the city has to offer and for the kids who accepted me as their own older sister. 

Overall, the experiences throughout the whole of two years have been invaluable and have shaped me into the person I am today. They have taught me the skills necessary to manage myself and others efficiently, and exposed me to situations that I would have otherwise never found myself in. I believe I am one step closer to being an ethical, authentic leader contributing to society in a meaningful way and I am excited for what my flourishing friendships with the other Laidlaw Scholars will bring over the coming years. I am so beyond grateful to the Laidlaw Foundation for this programme and for changing lives.