"As someone who wouldn’t ordinarily describe himself as a leader, ..."
Back in January 2025, I was hoping to join the Laidlaw Scholars Research and Leadership Programme. The words above were how I chose to describe myself in my application. At the time, I had a narrow view of what leadership meant – "I've never led anything," I thought. "I'm just not one of those people".
So when I received my letter of acceptance, my natural reaction was to assume it had been a fluke. Sure, I was thrilled to become a Laidlaw Scholar. But I remember meeting the rest of the cohort at our first event, and wondering whether I really deserved to be among them.
Looking back, I'm grateful that the selection panel saw potential in me that I hadn't yet recognised. They gave me the opportunity to develop my leadership capacities. Over the course of the Laidlaw Programme, I began to see myself differently, and changed my understanding of my own ability to lead.
Research Project
During my first summer on the programme, I conducted a research project about Jordan and Lebanon's contrasting approaches to Syrian refugee integration. I was grateful for the freedom to explore my interests in a structured, academic manner, and to develop my independent research skills. The part of the project that taught me the most about my abilities, however, was my fieldwork trip to Amman, Jordan.
I travelled to Amman to conduct interviews with experts on my research topic. Before arriving, I had arranged meetings with representatives from non-governmental organisations (NGOs) and think tanks. Despite having secured these interviews, I worried that I was out of my depth. I was, after all, just an undergraduate researcher. Why would these experts want to spend their time talking to me?
My concerns quickly proved unfounded. As it turned out, these experts wanted to discuss their work with me. They were pleased that I had travelled all the way from Scotland to hear their perspectives and insights. And they appreciated the research and knowledge that I brought to the conversation. I recall feeling like a real researcher after completing my first interview, and realising that I wasn't as 'underqualified' as I had thought. Leadership, I learned, starts with believing that you have something to contribute.
Laidlaw Scholars Annual Conference
Later that year, I had the opportunity to present my research at my first academic conference. I felt slightly nervous about speaking in front of an audience, but a preparatory workshop within my cohort helped me build some confidence. We practised presenting our projects to one another and exchanged constructive feedback. I was pleasantly surprised by how positively my peers responded, particularly to my ability to articulate my ideas clearly.
At the Laidlaw Scholars Annual Conference, I carried that confidence into my presentation. I shared my research with talented and motivated Scholars from universities across the UK and Europe, and engaged with their questions about my work. Their curiosity about my project reassured me that I belonged there, and that my ideas were worth sharing.
Oxford Character Programme
The next stage of my Laidlaw journey was to think beyond whether I could lead, and to consider what kind of leader I wanted to be. The Oxford Character Programme taught me that effective leadership requires both the skills to influence others and a strong character to anchor your values and guide your actions. Through online sessions with other Laidlaw scholars, I began to reflect more critically on the qualities that I wanted to develop as a leader. One area I identified for growth was courage: in my day-to-day life, I often prioritise harmony over expressing my own views. Courage, I learned, means speaking up even when it might create disagreement. The programme gave me a clearer sense of the kind of leader that I wanted to become, and how to work towards it.
Leadership-in-Action Project
My Leadership-in-Action project provided an opportunity to apply what I had learned during the programme. Given my strong interest in migration, I chose to implement my project with the Afghanistan and Central Asian Association (ACAA) in Feltham, London. The organisation provides support to refugees and asylum-seekers through education, integration, and advocacy.
One of the ACAA's main services is its drop-in 'advice clinic', where refugees and asylum-seekers can seek support with problems they need help navigating. I was going to be working as a caseworker there. Before starting, however, I wondered whether I would be able to make a meaningful contribution to the charity. I had limited experience volunteering, and I was conscious of my responsibility to 'engage ethically' and to ensure that my involvement benefitted the community.
Once I began working in the clinic, though, I quickly realised that my skills were more useful than I had anticipated. My Persian skills were an asset at the advice clinic, where most beneficiaries were Persian speakers who spoke little English. As one of the few volunteers who could communicate with them in their mother tongue, I was entrusted with a significant amount of responsibility. I personally handled over 25 client cases from start to finish, covering issues including housing, benefits, and immigration. Soon, I found myself in a position where other caseworkers were relying on my skills – whether to support them through complex cases, or to translate when they needed to communicate with Persian-speaking beneficiaries.
During my fieldwork trip in Amman, I had wondered whether I was qualified to be there. At the ACAA, I began to see the value that I could bring to others; I could see that I was making a difference. I realised that I could contribute, and serve, others, without being an 'expert'. I had become more confident in my own abilities, whilst also understanding that confidence does not require me to have all the answers.
I joined the Laidlaw Research and Leadership Programme, convinced that leadership was something "for other people". I am grateful to leave with a much stronger belief in the value that I can bring to others, and to myself.