Time is such an interesting concept. The last two weeks has felt like two days and yet I am a third of the way through my Leadership-In-Action project here in Sydney. Even having learnt so much, I am still surprised every single day with new perspectives and honestly, some tough self reflection. Part of my experience so far has been trying to better understand the mindset of someone who has been through homelessness or complex trauma. One striking thing that I have been taught is that time essentially stands still when your whole life is being lived on the edge of survival. Which makes sense right? If tomorrow isn't guaranteed, then your everyday is just a series of overcoming moments of fear and danger, and then preparing for the next. But for someone who has come from privilege, this idea is completely alien. We are taught from such a young age to think ahead and plan for our futures, even down to what we post on Instagram. Constant reminders about getting the right job, the right partner, the right school for our kids and yet, time goes on. The days pass and yet, we don't look back because time for us is just a concept. Time to love and be loved. Time to learn and grow. Time to work and support ourselves and families. Time to just exist without the thoughts of where we will sleep tonight, or the next meal, or when our partner gets back from drinking at the pub.
So, with that in mind, taking time every day to reflect has become something I now view as a luxury, because not everyone has the privilege of just being in the moment.
Week Two has been a planning week; writing interview questions, getting advice from the core staff and beginning to invite people for conversations. I have also had the honour of sitting in on some conversations between the women and core staff and have learnt a lot from the brief look I get into their psyche. I am proud of my progress in writing the first draft of the report and preparing for the interviews. I feel like I have grown as a leader through exposure to the excellent examples shown to me. Reframing my questions to better help the participants get the most from themselves is a new skill, but I am excited to put it into practice next week.
I think the big thing for me to work on in the coming weeks is recognising good things I have done and allowing others to remind me of it. The women participate in a workshop every week called Purple Bow Club where they learn key skills that increase their employability. This week, they had a confidence building session lead by a mentor from AMEX. As women, we learn two things about compliments very early in life. They either lead to negative experiences or accepting them makes you arrogant and undesirable. The first is unfortunately true for a lot of women, especially those who are vulnerable. It teaches us to become wary of being told good things about ourselves as it brings up the feelings of mistrust and danger associated with the bad experience. This can be a good thing in moderation, as being aware of who is around you is important for keeping yourself safe, but for a lot of women, this gets out of control and leads to internalisation of the fear of compliments, leaching into other areas of your life, such as work. While a long journey, the reframing of this conditioned response is key to success in the workplace. Personally, I wasn't even aware this was affecting my ability to take on positive feedback until this past week.
There is an ingrained culture of forcing yourself to teeter on the line between putting your achievements in the spotlight and succeeding in what you do, or becoming the scary, bossy, self-obsessed overachiever. Accepting that others will try and put you down will start to free you from the misconceptions you hold in your mind as a result of the past. Be your own biggest supporter, no one else is going to do it like you can.
Listening to the women discuss their confidence in such a candid way has helped put my own insecurities in context. It has also made me excited to speak to them in the coming weeks and motivates me to produce something meaningful that could go on to help improve the program and give Two Good something to show the impact that the business has on all their stakeholders.
On a more light hearted note, this week also saw the start of the FIFA Women's World Cup here in Australia and New Zealand. I watched the Matilda's opening match against the Republic of Ireland on the big screens in Darling Harbour surrounded by the lights of the CBD. Not sure what was more entertaining, the football (some performance!) or the Irish fans kicking off the party despite their loss, much to the annoyance of the majority Aussie fanbase in attendance. Looking forward to going to three matches here in Sydney in the next couple weeks. Such an empowering atmosphere, especially in context of my LIA project, to experience women at the peak of their careers doing what they love.
Next steps: Begin interviewing! Expecting this could be a tough couple weeks in terms of workload and emotionally, so will have to be extra mindful of my own strengths but so grateful I get to be here experiencing this all firsthand.
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